Laney's Blog

Double Anniversary in Zion (October 2009)

2009-10-28T14:18:00.000-07:00

On October 27, 1997 I had my brain surgery and stroke and on October 27, 2001 Gus and I eloped to Las Vegas (we didn't plan to do it on that day - it just happened to work that way!) Yesterday we celebrated the anniversaries by hiking in Zion N.P. and going out to dinner.

The Pa'rus hike/walk couldn't have been better for us. It's an A.D.A. trail and is paved. It follows the Virgin River and is level/flat so I didn't have problems with my knees. It's the only trail in the park that allows dogs so Dundee got to come along and I walked almost THREE MILES!!!! That's the longest I've walked in 12 years. I hauled ass, too, Gus didn't have to slow down for me.

After an afternoon rest we had a fantastic dinner at the Bit and Spur Restaurant in Springdale. It was the best meal I've had in years - seriously.

We had a beautiful view from our Zion campsite which ALMOST made up for the cold. The weather forecast called for snow overnight in the canyon but we woke to a very and dry clear morning. The sun doesn't rise in the canyon until late so we spend a lot time in net cafes!

Walking...

2009-10-25T13:54:00.000-07:00

Okay, here it is. This is not my best or fastest walking because I'm still suffering from stage-fright when the camera's on but YAAAAAAAAY!

I can't express how happy this makes me. My stroke was 12 years ago but I can suddenly walk without my cane and without my limp. Holly B., what can I say, without you this wouldn't have happened. THANK YOU! Tass, without YOU, I wouldn't have Holly :-). Mom, Dad and John, thanks for the encouragement you sent after my last post. Anthony, thanks for expert advice over the years. Cindy, you inspired me to make up a song to sing to Dundee when we walk. Bonnie, maybe we'll have to get snow shoes now - either that or become mall-walkers!

Back to our trip... we just drove through Hanksville, UT, which is where Gus almost got a job earlier this year. About 10 miles after Hanksville we stopped at Mesa Farm Market (http://www.mesafarmmarket.com) for coffee (the BEST coffee of the trip so far) and very yummy cinnamon rolls and ended up with SO much more: hand made fresh chevre from their goats, hand made organic bread and very interesting conversation with Randy, the proprietor, that basically made us very glad that we did not move to Hanksville. Randy said that last person to hold the position for which Gus applied was basically run out of town after his children and wife were threatened all because the man didn't cow-tow (sp?) to the locals who were opposed to conservation parts of the recreation planning which is part of the job. Everything happens for a reason - sometimes it takes a while for that reason to become clear.

We are now in Torrey, Utah, just outside Capitol Reef N.P. where Cindy and I first camped together in the spring of 1989 during a field trip in college. We'll spend a few days in Capitol Reef and Bryce Canyon before going to Zion for three balmy days - 60's and 70's. We're really looking forward to spending time in the "old neighborhood" for our 8th anniversary.

Natural Bridges and Walking!!!

2009-10-20T14:31:00.000-07:00

We camped in Natural Bridges National Monument for 3 days and we had a great time with Craig. However, it seems that we are the ones who bring the bad weather. This time it hailed quite hard which scared Dundee pretty bad as he was out in the open when it hit.

After N.B.N.M. we headed south again to Monument Valley then Navajo Nation to Betakin Ruins then back to Cortez.

Now for some BIG NEWS. At least it's big for me. It started when we got a treadmill at the beginning of the year. I've been walking on it regularly (when I'm actually at home) and as some of you may know I've been working with a personal trainer named Holly who has me on simple yet effective exercise routine. Anyway, about ten days ago I started walking normally. I mean NORMALLY as in no cane and no limp and at a fairly fast pace. My right knee doesn't lock and my right hip doesn't drop but one of the best things is that I can walk Dundee on a leash at a good pace and the leash doesn't get tangled with my cane. I can't wait to get out and walk every day - it's seriously like walking in someone else's body. It's such a rush, like an amusement park ride. Unfortunately some days, like today, I wake up and my leg doesn't work. It's very frustrating but Gus reminds me that it took 12 years to get to this point I can deal with another day or two. Gus bought me a new camera that also takes video but every time he tries to record me walking I get stage-fright and the limp comes back! We'll try again tomorrow and if we get a good video I'll post it here.

Dunes and Scones

2009-10-16T20:54:00.000-07:00

After leaving Denver we headed southwest to Westcliffe, a beautiful little town at the base of the Sangre de Cristo Mountains. Gus worked in the wilderness above the town in August and when he returned to Custer he told me he would take me there this fall.

I am a scone fanatic and I have to try the scones in every bakery and coffee shop I see. We ended up in a place called the Tea Room because the coffee shop next door was closed. The Tea Room was the most girlie, frilly place - it looked like a doily puked everywhere and I think Gus was the ONLY man to ever set foot in the place. I was a about to grab Gus and scurry out of there when the proprietress said they had scones. So we sat down at a doily covered table in doily covered chairs and waited for our scones. She served them with "real clotted cream and home-made lemon curd". They were so good they now hold the top spot in my book (previously held by a place in Oregon) and are worthy of a trip back to Westcliffe and the Tea Room.

After we left Westcliffe we headed over to the other side of the Sangres to Great Sand Dunes N.P. where we spent two days. It's a pretty surreal place - like a mini-Sahara. The dunes are enormous; there are many people in this photo but they are mere specks. We were pleasantly surprised to learn that Dundee was allowed on the dunes. The sand was very easy to walk on because it was packed and the weather was great - high 60s and in the 30s at night but we're prepared. The first night Dundee got really cold because he didn't stay in his sleeping bag but he learned his lesson and on the second night he stayed in.

I saw the funniest picture in the visitor center of a kid playing in the water by the dunes. He looks like my dad's son if he had one (my dad has almost always had a mustache). I'm sure the artist who painted the boy meant the 'stache to be a shadow but it's a little too dark.

Tomorrow we're headed to Natural Bridges N. P. to meet Gus' brother Craig. Last spring when we went there it snowed on us and we didn't get to see the sights and stars. N.B.N.P. was listed in National Geo Magazine as one of the best places to stargaze because of the lack of light pollution. It's supposed to rain while we're there this time but we're hopeful!

Getting the Hell Out of Dodge

2009-10-09T10:15:00.000-07:00

Once again Gus, Dundee and I are heading south for the winter - well, what feels like winter at least. Last night was 4 degrees in Custer. Today the high is 20 degrees and we are supposed to be in Laramie, WY (high of 23 degrees) watching a football game but even Gus who spent five seasons in Antarctica says it's too cold to sit on metal bleachers for three hours. We've had this game planned for months - who knew that hell would freeze over. The last two weeks have been more like January than October. We've had about a foot of snow in Custer and lows in the single digits.

Now we are leaving on Monday instead. Our first stop is Denver to see Gus' brother and sister then south to Great Sand Dunes National Park and Preserve which until a week ago I didn't know existed! Then on to southern Utah where we'll spend most of October meeting up with friends and camping in various locales until we head to The Red Rock Canyon National Conservation Area outside Vegas where we'll also meet up with friends and camp. Camping in Red Rocks is not the first thing that comes to mind when you think of Vegas but it's a big hit with the rock climbers and apparently it's nice and warm (average 73 degrees) which will make it a big hit with me.

Dundee knows we are leaving and no matter how many times we tell him that he's going with us he just doesn't get it. Probably because he doesn't he doesn't understand english. We showed him his sleeping bag and "suitcase" but he still follows us around with a pathetic look on his face. I guess that won't change until we load him in the van on Monday morning.

I'll be updating my blog with photos, etc. as we travel - or at least that's the plan! So check back every week or so to see what kind of trouble we've gotten ourselves into :-).

Season's Greetings!

2008-12-17T14:02:00.000-08:00

I've been in Park City since November 4th (Yeah Obama!). I wasn't supposed to stay this long but I just was so sick we decided I would spend the rest of the year in Utah getting to the root of my health problems. Gus is in Washington D.C.again for work but will pick and Dundee and I up when he returns early January.

Dundee is doing very well with his Aunt Cindy and Uncle Anthony. Dundee loves Cindy more than me :-( but I couldn't think of better person. I, in turn, have fallen in love with Bosco. Anthony is so great with Bosco and with Dundee and his re-hab from knee surgery. He really has that special quality to work with dogs.

Switching from canine to human problems....Wow, this is endless!!! So many doctors, so much info swimming in my head. Speaking of which, I got to look at my brain scans yesterday and wow, what a big hole I have in my head! I'm still amazed every day that I'm able talk and walk with so much brain tissue missing.

After my full physical and my appointment with my neurologist yesterday we now know many new things:

~ The CT and MRI showed that I have no more AVMs!!! Yay!

~ Knock on wood... I haven't had either a migraine or a bad IBS attack since being on the strict diet. 17 days so far without coffee (the hardest part), alcohol, dairy, high fat, refined sugar, etc.. I'm REALLY REALLY REALLY hoping that it's not a fluke :-)

~ My thyroid test was scary weird. It was supposed to be around 3 but it was over 3,000 so I've been referred to an endocrinologist ASAP...

~ Doc Savia is sending me to a Cerebral Palsy specialist. Huh? Well, they are really good with spasicity (I still have it since the stroke 11 years ago!), which is the main reason my body won't straighten out which, in turn, is why my back is still screwed up with the SI Joint pain and the Facet Joint pain. So he will treat me with Botox to lessen the spasicity. We'll see how that goes, maybe I can convince him to do some forehead wrinkles too (J.K.).

~ I (we) decided to do NEITHER the Baclofen pump nor the Radio Frequency Nerve Ablation in my back. Those are "last options" in my opinion and it's my body so I can say "no" if I want. Hah!

~ I was put on oral Baclofen (pills) as a trial to see if it really helps the spasticity and if so, if I can handle the fatiguing side effects.

~ I have two scary moles that have to be removed ASAP and bioposied.

~ I have a bulging disk in my neck which may be contributing to my migraines.

~ (This part is humorous but painful)... After my physical/pelvic exam the doc left the room so I could get dress and I was just getting off the table but slippery socks and linoleum don't mix. BOOM! The doc rushed back in after the fall to find me on the floor with my gown over my head exposing all my nakedness! The door was open and everyone in the hall had a nice view. It was really quite funny except for the pain. It's a good thing I have no modesty left! My whole right side is bruised and and scraped up but that will soon pass :-)

So there you have it. Some great news, some not so much. The pain in the butt is that now I have a whole slew of new doc appointments and blood labs.

For those of you in Utah, I apologize that I haven't been able to spend time with you. I just really need to be "at home" with Mom, John and Damien (who is my personal trainer while while we're both here. He helps me do all my physical therapy as well taking turns with Mom and John being chauffeur). God knows I am lacking in the motivation department.

I've had 10 doc appointments so far in December and have at least 4 more before the end of the year. I'm planning to stay with Layle, Nick and the boys very soon but I have to wait to until my next appointment in PC. I'm really not sure what my plans will be after Christmas.

I apologize to all my friends and family in Utah, South Dakota, California, etc. who have called and emailed and not heard back from me. I'm pretty overwhelmed right now with all that's happening. I'm slow, don't forget, I've been working on this message for almost three hours! My brain gets tired and confused so easily. In fact, it's my nap time now but I will write more as I learn more from the docs.

I hope you are all enjoying the snow and holiday season.

Peace,
Laney

Boo!

2008-10-30T15:20:00.000-07:00

We made a quick trip down the 101 to Cali and couldn't back fast enough! I swear, as soon as we crossed the border 2 lanes turned to 4 and we had two 15 minute road constcuction stops. Lot's of hitch-hikers looking all methed-out. Front page of the local Crescent City paper was "...big meth bust". Signs everywhere saying "DON'T LEAVE VALUABLES UNATTENDED!" If you're not doing 10 over the speed limit - watch out - people there are impantient. We made it all the way to HSU (which I attended for a semester) before tucking tail and heading north.

A little Harsh, maybe, but condersider that we've been in Ogegon for two weeks and aclimated quite nicely. We love the pace, the ocean, Mo, the lack of McMansions, the scones and the LACK OF PEOPLE!

We were so happy to be in the land of mellow. I know every place has it's problems but I feel prefer Orgeon. We've had the best weather and the people are really friendly.

Gotta run for now! here's some pics.

Greetings from Bandon by the Sea, OR

2008-10-23T14:55:00.000-07:00

Sunny, warm, no people... we couldn't ask for a better time! There were a couple people at Sunset Beach last night but other than then, we've pretty much had the coast to ourselves.

We spent the last two nights in a yurt at Sunset Beach campground. The yurts are awesome! Very cozy and warm at night and a great star show through the sky-light.

That's it for now - the cafe is closing!

A New Beginning

2008-06-25T19:29:00.000-07:00

I know it sounds cheesey but it's true. This is a new beginning for me. Today Doc Teuber gave me a clean bill of help. Very successful surgery and I'm allowed to do anything but lift. I can garden, belly dance, clean the litter box, cook, clean, go on a 1.2 mile walk (actually I did that yesterday with Bonnie and Dundee - FANTISTIC time, beautiful limestone cliffs, butterflies by the thousands swirling madly about, nothing but GREEN and wildflowers everywhere, and of course, great company.

I digress...for the first time in more years than I care to remember, besides the migraines, I have no health issues holding me back (still have some mental ones!). I'm really looking forward to physical therapy, seriously. I want be Bionic-Bisected Woman - my muscles are stronger than ever and as soon I hear the starting gun, I will be off and "running" with my Physical Therapist and my favorite P.T.A., B.B.

Okay here comes the scary part of the post. I have and will still have some pain for up to 4 - 6 months. And just one week of pain pills left... that was one of the main objective of the surgery, to no longer need the meds. Yes, they helped immensely over the years. Hell, they helped do create these gardens by myself and grow the food and even draw:
I wouldn't have been able to do any of those things without taking pain meds - my back just couldn't handle it. But now that surgery corrected the problem, next spring I will able to garden (and belly dance) with little pain and WITHOUT pain meds. I will always be grateful that I had meds when I needed them but that time has passed. Don't worry, I've been tapering for five weeks.

Blue skies are folowing me, nothing but blue skies are all I see... (W.N.)

!@#$%^&* Hail!

2008-06-22T09:32:00.001-07:00

Damn you stupid Black Hills Weather! Garden ruined, husband slightly damaged, me just plain pissed off.

As Gus's sister, Dianne, Emma and I drove to Rapid City the other day we had a clear view of the Black Elk Wilderness and Harney Peak. Gus had told me that morning that he was going to Harney that day and when Dianne and I saw the HUGE thunderstorm above Harney, we knew Gus was definitely going to get wet. I stayed the night in Rapid and didn't talk to Gus until the next evening. When I finally saw him (he was 1/2 hour late for our date in Lead, I could tell something very bad had occurred (Gus is NEVER late). Yes, he was on Harney when the three hour hail storm hit hard. He and his helpers huddled under a tree until the worst had passed they were well prepared but not much helps in a storm like that. But so many other people had gone into the wilderness like they were going into a gas station: flip flops, tank tops, no jacket, no water. They all asked Gus to send search and rescue to get them. Okay, so it's POSTED at every trail head to enter the wilderness only if you are prepared which these idiots were not. There was nothing Gus could do to help them.

Anyway, the same thing happened the next day. Same hail, same ignorant people in tank tops. (By the way, the weather forecast is also posted at the trailhead). But that day two men had heart attacks and one died in the wilderness. I don't if it had anything to do with weather...

When I got home I discovered the wreck that been my garden. The hail hit hard at home, too. Everything was pretty much tattered unlikely to recover (EXCEPT, thanks to Cindy, for my tomatoes and squash which were all cozy in their wall o' water teepees). Oh Amberly, I sympathize with you and your lost-to-frost garden. I guess I'm just not meant to have a garden this year. Here's hoping for an Indian summer so my tomatoes and squash can mature.

I hope you and your gardens are okay!

I should be in Utah in a week if my doc gives me the thumbs up on Tuesday.

Ups and Downs and All My Children

2008-06-18T08:41:00.000-07:00

The ups: not cleaning, not cooking, all the TV I can watch. The downs: not cleaning, not cooking, all the TV I can watch and of course, not gardening. I truly have a serious addiction to TV. I really hate it when I miss my soap. Yes, you read right - my soap opera (All my Children). I swear it's the only one. At least it's the politically correct soap. They deal with some real issues like women and heart disease, rehabilitation that really works in the prison system, they had the first lesbian kiss, adoption, rape, etc. Please don't judge me for watching a soap, but feel free to judge me for being addicted to all TV!

I screwed up and over-did things a few days ago and my back got extremely swollen and I could hardly move for a few days. BUT overall, I can't believe how well I'm coming along. I think the drive to Utah will be no problem - maybe a little stiff and sore. It's kind of weird to think that after my back rehab, I will all better. That is, except for the migraines which, by the way, have gone down way down since Sigmund was removed. The migraines are actually not a big issue because the Imitrex almost always takes care of them within a few hours. If the only medical problem I am left with is migraines, I will be happier that a pig in sh*t!

Bonnie took the photos of our beautiful tree (I think it's a flowering crab-apple). This is year the blooms are out of control! Better than any other year since we've been here. Bonnie is picking Dundee and I up in a little while for a walk - part of my therapy. I'm so grateful for Bonnie she is such a light in my life, always has a smile for me and is so good to Smokey when Gus and I travel. We have a lot in common including some major medical issues went through years ago. She's had some great advice for me.

Well, I must get ready for our walk!

Until next time...

I'm Bored

2008-06-10T08:35:00.000-07:00

It's so hard to just lie on the couch while there are weeds to be pulled, things to be dusted, a dog to be brushed... I would be happy to at least start my physical therapy (P.T.) but that won't happen for another few weeks. I'll doing my P.T. in Utah and if all goes as planned, I'll be in Utah for five weeks - mostly July with a few days of June and August.

My 20th High School reunion is August 1! This photo is from 1984 or 85 (I'm the one in black with the goth makeup). By the time I graduated in 88 I had my hair back under control! My friends in the photo are from the left: Holly Elkins, me, Wendy Griffin and Valeri Elkins. I'm looking SO forward to seeing them at the reunion!

This is one of my favorite pictures of my friend, Holly Robinson, and I in Mazatlan on our Senior Trip. What a blur... thank God that before the whole Girls Gone Wild phenomena! That may be TMI.

The Garden Fairy Came to Custer

2008-06-05T13:16:00.000-07:00

I'm doing well but I'm over-doing it, too. Gotta slow down. Still have a lot of pain unless I'm just reclining on the couch but I've cut way down on the pain meds. It's hard just sitting there. But, when the weather is nice I sit under my flowering crab-apple tree which has more blooms than any other year since we've lived here and I look at my garden and it's I have to sit on my hands or else I will find myself in a weeding frenzy. Oh! How I would love to weed - it's my favorite garden chore and not being to is driving me CRAZY!!!

Cindy just left today. She's been here since Sunday, drove all the way in her Passat (20 mpg) at $3.93 a gallon. She came to give Gus a break and plant my tomatoes and squash which she started from seed for me. She also put them all in Walls 'o' Water since we're still getting frost....IN JUNE! Rapid City broke the all-time record for wettest month EVER in May. Anyway, I am so blessed to have a friend like her. This fall is our 20th anniversary. We met the first day of art school and found that we had ALL of our classes together, not to mention that 20 years ago, we looked like identical twins! We became fast friends... and happily ever after :-) Cindy is the BEST the best domestic goddess, chef, nurse and gardener a friend could have. She cooked wonderful meals for Gus and kept me company. Thank you Cin!

I see my surgeon on the 24th then I'll be going to Utah for PT. How long we're not sure - probably 5 weeks, culminating in my 20th HS reunion on August 1st.

2008-05-30T10:25:00.000-07:00

Thanks so much to those of you who have sent cards, emails, and flower! It means so much to me.

I have to tell you about the surgery center where I had my operation because it was so unreal. First of all, I had a choice where to have my surgery, the regular hospital or the Black Hills Surgery Center. Because my insurance covers both facilities I opted for the latter. There IS no comparison! We’re talking Motel 6 vs. the Marriott or a plain and tiny dog house vs. a pimped-out, diamond-studded dog house. Seriously, the BHSC was incredible: private suites, made-to-order gourmet meals, etc. The first night Gus had Buffalo Tenderloin and I had a Parmesan and Panko Crusted Walleye with herbed couscous and for dessert, a chocolate-friggin’-soufflé! They made me a hand-made REAL banana shake in the middle of the day and if they don’t have something you want, they will get it. Weeks before the surgery they sent out a preference questionnaire which asked, among other things: what magazines to you like to read? What’s your favorite snack? What kind of beer does Gus Like? What movies would like to see, etc. Of course when we checked into our suite it was ALL there!

Oh yeah, I can’t forget the medical care… hand downs the best I’ve ever had. The nurses only have three patients each and they have two nurses’ assistants to help so the ratio is one nurse or assistant per patient. How bout them apples, my nurse friends??? The nurses are obviously thrilled to work there because they can really do their jobs well without time constraints.

Scott went back to work today but he’s just a phone call away. His office is three blocks from our house. Besides, I can’t do ANYTHING but lie on the couch and watch TV or read or, obviously, work on my laptop. I’m still in a lot of pain and will be for weeks. But today it’s hard to be still. The sun is out for the first time in a week and all I want is to touch the soil and check to see how my worms are doing after such a long winter. I thought about going to just SEE the garden but my shoes won’t go on by themselves and I can’t bend over. Hopefully I’ll be able to do so soon – baby steps, right?

On a Scale from 1 - 10

2008-05-27T12:53:00.000-07:00

When you seek medical attention, you are often asked "What is your pain right now on a scale of 1- 10?” - 0 being no pain and 10 being the worst pain you've ever had. But it's all relative, isn’t it? My "10" used to be those migraines that put me in the ER. The worst pain I've now had was immediately after my back surgery. I seriously didn't believe that kind of pain was possible. Holy crap! I woke up and starting screaming and bawling. It took the docs an hour to get the pain DOWN to a 10 because it felt like a 100 when I came out of the anesthesia. I now have a new "10" which means that my old 10 is more like an 8.

Anyway, they released me on Friday afternoon and all is going as planned. I’m pretty helpless – can’t walk without my cane, can’t bend over, in a lot of pain, etc. But I have the best nurse ever! Gus takes such good care of me. When it’s time to take your meds in the hospital they put the pills in a little plastic cup. Since we have no little plastic cups at home, Gus puts mine in a saki cup which reminds me of shooting saki at a Japanese restaurant with Papa when we were out there last month. Such a nice memory ;-) Kompai!

I’m literally sleeping 18 hours a day since coming home. I'm so dopey and sleepy all the time and I can't remember who I talk on the phone to so if you’ve called I probably don’t recall it! The dopiness and sleepiness are not solely due to the meds because I’ve been on this amount of pain meds before without the same effects. I think the other reason is that being in this much pain wipes me out and my body is so busy doing it’s #1 job of healing and creating the new bone graft. Every day I listen to guided meditations about the body’s ability to heal itself – this it scientifically proven to help. In fact, a few years ago Papa’s insurance company sent him a guided meditation CD to listen to before surgery. If insurance companies believe it works, it must because you can bet your britches they wouldn’t waste money on something “experimental”. HAH! As I write this, Gus came into the room with “healing incense”. Coincidence? No such thing. So here’s what the incense pamphlet says “Aquilaria Aromatic Healing Incense is a traditional Tibetan remedy used to treat headaches, nausea, back pain, stiffness and muscle pain”. Sounds great to me and smells great, too.

I already started tapering down on the pain meds. per doc orders, it was 3 pills every 4 hours but now I decided to do 2 pills unless I’m really hurting BAD like yesterday afternoon when Harve and Lisa came to visit and as they were getting out of their car a doe popped out a fawn right then so I HAD to get up to watch! We got to see it take its first wobbly steps. But I overdid it and was in too much pain.

Today we’re going to shower me – it should be a pretty funny event. Dundee needs a bath, too, so we may make it a family affair.

(By the way, I started writing this on Friday night but can only write for about 5 minutes at a time!)

Papa's Passing and My Surgery

2008-05-19T09:31:00.000-07:00

My grandfather, "Papa" died a few days ago. Although I haven't talked to her since, I read my sister's blog and, what can I say? We think exactly alike. The following quote is from her blog (http://laylekoncar.typepad.com/) but is exactly what I would have written here:

"I'm so grateful for the relationship I had with him. So grateful that I was able to spend time with him in California a few weeks ago. I knew deep down when I said goodbye, gave him a big kiss and a hug and told him I loved him. I knew deep down that I wouldn't be seeing him again. It was as if he felt like he could let go. We'd said goodbye our final goodbyes to my Grandma that weekend. We had all our family together. It was almost as if he felt he could let go after that weekend."

We both knew in our hearts that he was ready to go and the mind and body are mysterious, maybe he "planned" to go now. I think he was at peace after finally getting grandma to her final resting spot.

I may be a little biased but they were the BEST grandparents in the world. My most precious memories are of spending time with them in Anaheim, CA where they lived for 40 years. If I could go back to any place and time, it would be there, in the backyard - Papa grilling halibut and everyone laughing, always. Playing cards and drinking the virgin daiquiris Papa made especially for Layle and I.

They both are deeply missed.

And now for something totally different...

After a very weird cardiac stress test, x-rays and the usual brain MRI, I have been cleared for my back surgery on Wednesday the 21st at Black Hills Surgery Center. I'm completely confidant that my body is ready and my Surgeon is one of the best in the nation. As far as they can tell, I am AVM-free!

I'll be in the hospital for 3 days then home. Scott is taking ten days off to care for me. After all, we really have no idea how my body will react after the surgery. I could be up and getting around fine in a week or I could be completely incapacitated and in wheel chair (highly unlikely). You know that when my body is in major pain and stress, I can barely walk and shake like crazy. So, I may have to come to Utah anyway as scheduled so the Woerners and Warrens can look after me after Scott goes back to work. After all, it takes a lot of energy and enormous mental strength to deal with me :-) I fully understand what an undertaking taking care of me is.

I expect a full recovery and will be following all my doctor's orders (Scott will make sure of that!)

The garden is planted and Scott and friends will be looking after it for me while I'm down.

Oh, I almost forgot! We have lovely new neighbors with whom I speak all the time because I'm in the garden and they are an active family, always walking the kids to the park down the street. When they pass our house we chat until Leah and Charlie are ready to hit the swings. Jay (dad) is the new chef at the Sage Creek Grille (our favorite restaurant) and last night he brought us THE BEST hot and sour and garlic chicken that he made at home. How lucky are we??? Monica (mom) is very busy with Leah, Gigi and Charlie, their three kids. Gigi is an infant and Charlie is a high-functioning autistic, neither whom I feel I could babysit but I am planning on having Leah over for awhile - we'll paint (at least my art supplies will get SOME use!) and I will read her "Bullfrog Grows Up" and "Bullfrog Builds a House" which, according to the inscription, my dad gave me in 1970. I look forward to recovering enough to have Leah come visit.

Things are getting complicated

2008-05-13T11:52:00.000-07:00

My greatly anticipated appointment with the new specialist was today and after an HOUR of waiting, and very nice nurse gave me an EKG and left. It only took 3 minutes! I expected a long beepy process.

"Guido" the 5th new doc, walked in with a solid gold medical symbol with the snakes or serpents or whatever on his belt buckle shining in the fluorescent light, his longish salt-and-pepper hair slicked back with some greasy pomade and the best looking hand-tailored suit I've seen. I could barely keep myself from laughing, he was SO out of place in Rapid City - his tie pin was gold as well and the tie and had the little medical symbols, too. Okay, I get it - you're a DOCTOR. Then he spoke and all made sense - he's from New Jersey. He ordered a cardiac stress test and brain MRI. I had a slightly abnormal EKG and we to make sure all is well with ticker. But since I can't get my heart rate up high enough to "stress" it due to the lack of get-up-and-go-ness of my stroked-out body they will use nuclear meds to artificially stress my heart so they can see if reacts normally when stressed. Wha? What's normal about artifically making my heart go bonkers with nukes? It's a four hour test and I assume I'll be lying in bed with my heart racing feeling like I'm running a marathon. Four hours is a pretty good time for a marathon, right, Jules and Mom?

The brain MRI is to see if any more AVMs have taken up residence in there. Which raises a funny (not ha-ha funny) question. The first brain AVM 10 years ago was supposedly congenital, meaning I was born with it. Well, what if I wasn't born with it? What if just grew over a few years like Sigmund did.

More Later...

Holy Hippo!

2008-04-23T08:32:00.001-07:00

Some of you may remember me telling you that during my first colonoscopy nine years ago I thought I saw a hippopotamus in my colon. I was semi-sedated (happy drugs) and I was watching the screen that the docs watch while moving the camera through the bowel. Of course the hippo was a figment of my drugged imagination.

Well, we had my follow-up with my GI doc last week and he told me that Sigmund was neither tumor nor polyp. He was much stranger than even that imaginary hippo. He was... drum roll please.... an AVM! That's Aterio Venous Malformation (weird tangle of blood vessels) just like the one that was in my brain! Can you believe that? I'm absolutely fascinated by weird stuff like this. The doc said I MAY have a disease that causes more AVMs to grow in the body. More about that later after I see another specialist to make sure it's still okay for me to have my back surgery on the 21st.

I'm in Utah now after spending a wonderful weekend in Ridgecrest, CA with Layle, my dad, Rosalie, my Grandpa, Uncles John and Dana, and my cousin, Jamie.

To quote my dad: "Lots of good food & reminiscing. Of course, the main purpose for all was to [finally] get Mom's ashes where she wanted to be - among the desert wildflowers. Well, it took us over a year, searching for a good spot, close by. We drove (4 X 4) up Indian Wells Canyon, about 20 miles west of Ridgecrest, close to the [western] base of Owens Peak, at the southern tip of the Sierra Nevada's. We all agreed that the location was the perfect place. We all had fun, relished in the beauty of the high, western Mojave Desert, did just what we needed to do with Mom, and celebrated afterwards!"

My grandpa is settled in his new place now and it's very close to my dad's. It's a very place and perfect for him and the dogs :-)

It was a special time for our family and I felt Grandma was there, also. Layle and John took some fantastic photos which I'll put here as soon as I get them. My dad and Rosalie made mine and Layle's FAVORITE meal and Rosalie, the cookie master, sent us home with large bags of cookies.

Speaking of baked goods...I'm off to make a cake for Cindy's birthday tonight. I feel physically great (other than my back) and haven't made a cake in a long time so WOO HOO!

Good Results

2008-04-08T09:21:00.000-07:00

The doc just called with the good news that the Sigmond, my tumor, was benign :-) Thanks for all your kind emails.

Now all I need is some spring! Seriously, we've had full-on winter in Custer for a month. For those of you in Utah, that may seem normal but it's definetly not the norm here in the Hills. We usually have one or two winter storms in March - maybe 6 inches total. This year, however, we've had a 6" dump every few days. Including last night's storm and the forecast is for more damn snow! This time last year the grass was green and I had lettuce, peas, beets and cabbage already growing in the garden. This year I haven't even been able to work the dirt let alone plant seeds. Oh well, with my health problems, it's probably better this way because if the weather had been great, I wouldn't have been able to work in the garden anyway. All things happen for a reason. At least that's what I keep telling myself. Because I'm still in pain from Sig, I'll take the upcoming snow as a blessing. Besides, we need the water. I bet the weather will be perfect on the day I finally feel well enough to play in the dirt and start our garden.

I say "our" because Gus told me that he wants to help with the garden this year. This is HUGE! Better than diamonds, better than gold (not that I'm into those things anyway). Working in the garden with my husband to produce organic food that will make us healthy is the best gift ever. This will be a great spring if it ever gets started.

R.I.P. Sigmund

2008-04-05T10:48:00.000-07:00

Say hello to my little friend, "Sigmund". The doctor who performed my colonoscopy yesterday removed him from my sigmoid colon. He is most likely a benign tumor although we won't know for sure until the pathology report comes back in a week or two. However, the doc wasn't concerned and neither am I.

The photo is a little confusing (at least for me) so I will try to make it more clear: Sigmund was a growth that was an inch in diameter and attached to my colon wall by a long stalk like a wad of bubblegum that has succumbed to gravity. Gross, I know. As "stuff" moved through my colon, it would pull Sig down which would pull on the colon wall creating pain.

Sigmund has caused me A LOT of pain over the last year or two so I am happy to see him go. It still hurts pretty bad but will go away once it heals. We don't know how long he's been taking up residence in my bowels but from the size of him, probably a while. We also don't know why he didn't show up on my CAT scan in November. When they found him yesterday, it was the first time I knew for sure I wasn't imagining my pain so I am quite pleased with my brain for being true to me. I feel like showing the photos to everyone (even the mailman) and saying "See, I'm not a crazy hypochondriac after all!"

There has also been a major development with another long-time health issue. I finally had an MRI of my back and the docs recommend a one level spinal fusion to fix a dessicated disk that is causing spurring of the vertebrae. What the...??? Basically my jelly-donut-like disk has no more jelly to cushion the bones so it hurts really bad. The docs I've seen for this so far agree that I've done what could be done. I've had every treatment and therapy available - traditional and alternative - and the only options left are surgery or suffering. As far as spinal surgery goes, a single fusion is a piece of cake. I have an appointment with my new neurosurgeon on the 15th and we'll take it from there...

Oh yeah, migraines. I've been getting so many migraines I lost count at 11 in March in alone. Probably more than 30 so far this year! The good news is that the increase is probably due to physical and emotional stress and now that the we're dealing the stressors, the migraines will most likely go back down to a manageable number.

I'm actually EXTREMELY happy with all these new developments. Seriously, I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders because after years of worsening pain it's such a relief to have some answers. I think the relief is in direct opposite proportion to the time passed looking for answers. Wow, I think I just blew my own mind.

I know that in every post I promise to be more vigilant in keeping my blog current. Well I won't say that again because I know I won't keep it current and I just need to accept that. I'll write when I write, period. Anyway, if I had been blogging daily it would have gone like this:

March 3-
Woke with a migraine. I feel like crap. My back hurts. My gut hurts. I'm depressed

March 7-
Woke with a migraine. I feel like crap. My back hurts. My gut hurts. I'm depressed.

March 11-
I had another car accident. (Just kidding!)

Not that much fun to read, right? Yes, I could write about things OTHER than me me me but it's been difficult to even think about anything else.

Thanks everyone, for the love, prayers and good energy that you've sent to me. For those of you who have been concerned about me, now you can stop worrying.

It's all good :-)

Happy Spring!

East Coast Cold (or King Street Blues)

2008-01-20T09:42:00.000-08:00

Our hotel is on beautiful King Street and last night was so warm we walked 7 blocks to dinner. This morning, however, was a different story. To start with, the entire hotel had a brutal wake-up call. Apparently someone downstairs put a danish in the microwave for like 1/2 hour and it caught fire. The fire department had to come turn off the alarm which took at least 15 minutes and I couldn't handle noise! I decided to go to the coffee shop across the street and proceeded to put my pants on backwards, spilled my water and couldn't find my room key or gloves (did I mention I couldn't handle the noise? Seriously, my brain doesn't work in these situations).

Today I learned (or relearned) a couple things about fire protocol in a public building. One - elevators don't work (note to self: do not stay on the 5th floor because walking down stairs is not your speciality). And two - make sure to look at the map of the fire exits when you first check in.

After I FINALLY made it out of the building, the cold air and arctic wind hit me like a line-backer (sorry for the cheesy metaphor but it's football Sunday, after all). Although the coffee shop is across the street, it seemed like a mile. Not quite "Lambeau Field cold" but close. I guess I can handle it for 3 minutes if you can handle it for 3 hours tonight, Mr. Favre! Oh, how I want the Packers to win and the Cheatin' Patriots to lose. For those of you football fans, enjoy the games! Everyone else, have a nice regular Sunday :-)

Happy 2008 from Alexandria, VA

2008-01-01T14:22:00.000-08:00

I'm so glad we're NOT in the city - Gus and I are staying at the Hampton Inn in Alexandria, just across the Potomac River from Washington D.C. but a WORLD away. We're very close to the waterfront and just a block from the metro/subway which takes Gus directly to work near the Capitol. I love the architecture and all the historic sites here. It's so quaint, quiet and our street alone has more decent restaurants than the entire Black Hills area! I plan to visit as many as my weird stomach will allow because when we return to Custer I plan to throw my car keys in the trash thus limiting my dining-out possibilities.

Oh, I love it here but THE WEATHER SUCKS! Today it's dumping like it does in Utah and all area schools are closed. Gus has been here for a month and had been raving about the great weather. Mostly 50's and dry and one wonderful day it was 71 degrees! Of course that all changed the day before I arrived and the forecast is for more cold and snow. My first night here was extremely cold but I didn't care at first. We walked six blocks to dinner and then to an Irish pub for a pint. It was so much fun - there was an Irish folk singer playing and the whole crowd sang along. However, the walk back to hotel was hell. I had forgotten what East-Coast Cold feels like. I'll take Custer Cold any day over this humid cold.

We lucked out yesterday though. It was the calm before the storm and Gus took the day off to show me around. It was sunny and in the mid 30's and despite the chilling wind we walked to the river and had a wonderful lunch. We also went to the Torpedo Art Center, a former torpedo factory located on the waterfront. It's a world-renowned art center with three floors of open studios and galleries to observe artists working. My legs were tired so I only explored the first floor galleries but I will go back later this week. I plan to spend my days exploring Alexandria in the coming days (weather permitting) and will save my D.C. explorations until next week when Scott's Mom and sister, Dianne, are here.

We also are looking forward to seeing Heather and Curt (our friends from S.D. who recently moved to Pennsylvania last year) if they can make it down in this weather!

I hope 2008 brings you all great health and happiness.

I, for one, am so glad that 2007 is finally over! I don't usually anthropomorphize an actual YEAR, but this the one was really very mean to me and Rocky and indirectly to Scott. 2007 was a five-car-accident, four-cavity, three-root-canal, two-extraction, one-crown (and a partridge in a pear tree) year. Plus a bad fall in which I hurt my back back more than it already was. Oh yeah, and the strange gastro-intestinal funk thing.

However, as bad as the year was, I would do it all over again just to repeat our incredible Autumn road trip during which Scott and I camped for the first time since my stoke ten years ago. I have many stories to share and will write about them eventually!

More from Alexandria soon...

Not My Year!

2007-12-22T16:35:00.000-08:00

I just arrived in Utah and, what can I say? This just isn't my year... automatively. Yes, ANOTHER accident! This one wasn't my fault either. Here's what happened: a huge snow storm came through Utah on Thursday night and left the roads a mess but I had to get to Salt Lake City for my first root canal ever so I braved the commute. After the root canal, I drove straight to my sister's house, pulled into the driveway and the damn house crashed into me! Can you belive it? Okay, that's not exactly what happened, it was more like my snowy boot slipped off the break and onto to the gas, sending Rocky, our car, into the side of the house. Nick said he felt the hit from way on the other side of the house. The house was okay… the car, not so much. I didn’t get out to the look at the damage; I went straight to the crying and freaking out. I called Layle on my cell to come out of the house and she talked me down so I was only moderately hysterical for the next hour.

Layle and Nick – what angels! Within 20 minutes, they called the insurance company, the auto repair shop AND Gus. I was so mortified to tell him I wrecked our only car for the FOURTH TIME this year! After Layle told him, I talked to him and he just laughed. After all, he said, that's why we have insurance. Besides, the other three wrecks ruined our resale value as well as poor Rocky’s self esteem. This accident is pretty bad: broken headlight, hood, bumper, fender and the driver’s side door won’t open. That's one tough house! Sigh…

Before this year, I only had one accident and that was in 1988. It wasn't my fault either (seriously). I've had only ONE ticket in my life and that was also in 1988. I've taken more solo road trips than you can shake a stick at - I still drive to Utah from Custer two or three times a year and I drive to Rapid City from Custer all the time (50 miles). Not to mention all the California road trips and Grateful Dead tours I've done since I was sixteen. Up until 2007, my driving record was spotless. WHAT IS HAPPENING NOW???? I'm hoping that 2008 will be a kinder, gentler year for Rocky and me. I am EXTREMELY grateful that no one has been injured in my accidents - other than my back and neck, but, give me a break! Enough is enough. Rocky will be in the shop for the rest of this year and hopefully the bad car ju-ju will be over by 2008.

In other news, it's been a few days since the accident and root canal and today I woke up in a lot of pain with a swollen face and a migraine. I called the endodontist who is worried that the infection might become systemtic so he called in a prescription for an even stronger antibiotic than the one I'm already on. He said I need to get it ASAP. So over the river and through the woods to the pharmacy we go... Actually, Layle is going to pick it up for me right now. The Koncars are taking such good care of me! Even seven-year-old Sam is doing his part to make Aunt Laney feel better. He is letting me sleep with his beloved teddybear and last night he offered to buy me a pizza with his own money. He always open doors for me, is my offical cane-carrier and gives me wonderful back rubs (watch out, Juli!)

I am going back after the holidays to have another root canal and then to my regular dentist in Park City so he can fix three more teeth. I'll also have a consultation with an oral surgeon about the three implants I need. I'm thinking that dentures may be easier! Meeting Gus in Washington D.C. is dangerously close to not happening. My mouth needs to be somewhat stable because the last thing I need is to be looking for a dentist in a big city without a car.

It’s not all bad news, though. I am safely in Sandy with no plans to get behind the wheel for a while. Yesterday the whole Koncar family and I went to see National Treasure II which was partially filmed in the Black Hills. It was fun to see my “backyard” on the big screen even though the movie wasn't very believable. I'm really looking forward to the Annual Koncar Christmas Dinner. We always have such a blast!

After Christmas I'm staying with Mom and John in Park City and can't wait to see all my P.C., Heber, Francis, etc. friends! I have my dental and physical therapy appointments but other than that, I have a free schedule until I go to D.C. and want to see you all.

I want to wish you all happy holidays and to quote my friend Heather from back east:

"Best wishes for a environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all."

"I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee. Have a Happy Non-Denomination Winter Holiday."

Another Trip!

2007-12-13T17:48:00.000-08:00

I'm unexpectedly and suddenly going on vacation again and I haven't even written about the last one yet! I'm planning to write about our Great Desert Trip soon...

Gus got a call this month from USAID in Washington D.C. (USAID, the United States Agency for International Development, is the official agency of the US government by which development assistance is channeled to other countries). They requested his help for six weeks starting on Monday the 17th. I'm planning to join him for two of the weeks and decided to fly out of SLC so I could spend the other four weeks in UT. Another reason for driving to Utah first is dental.

Yes, my teeth are getting coal in their stocking this year. Along with four others, I've been dealing with The Big Bad Tooth for almost a year - filling, infection and finally a crown. Well, apparently the infection NEVER went away and is abscessed in the bone and needs either a root canal or to be extracted. And guess what? According to my doc and one website "Dental abscesses can also make you generally ill, with nausea, vomiting, fevers, weight loss, chills, and sweats." Hey, that sounds familiar! I'm hoping that the dental troubles are the cause of my mysterious illness and that getting a root canal will resolve the symptoms. My weight loss is getting scary now, another 7 lbs. in the last month. (I hope you don't take this the wrong way, like I'm bragging about my weight loss.) I was really heavy for a few years and that was not healthy but obviously, this is not healthy either and I don't want to be this thin. I like to have a little more meat on my bones! And my butt - what butt? I have a concave ass now which is horrible in this age of J.Lo, Beyonce and Kim Kardashian. If only I had the money for tooshie implants (just kidding!). And don't get me started on the disappearing boobies...

I didn't ask Santa for root canal for Christmas but like getting underwear from Aunt Sue or a new mop from Gus, it is greatly needed and appreciated. Unfortunately, one of my favorite things about the holidays is the food (especially Nick's prime rib, cream cheese mashers and Karen's green beans) and since I'll have the root canal right before Christmas I don't think I'll be eating much (except the mashers)!

Well, I'm driving to Utah next week - weather permitting - and I'm really looking forward to seeing everyone but I can't make any plans until I see the endodontist. I'm not even sure if I'll be able to make it to D.C. If any of the other four problem teeth need big work I may have to stay in Utah the whole time.

I hope you don't mind my writing about all my health problems - it doesn't make for good writing but I want to keep my really close friends and family updated. I apologize to the rest of you for too much information!

Home-Grown Tomatoes

2007-09-24T09:58:00.000-07:00

There is a great song that says "There's only two things can't buy, true love and home-grown tomatoes". Truly, there is nothing as sweet as home-grown toms and thanks to Cindy, I'm up to my ears in them.

Although I had to pick them green due to an early frost, every one has ripen quite nicely in my kitchen. This spring Cindy gave me seven tomato plants that she started from seeds. I carefully drove the precious cargo from Utah to Custer and planted them in the garden about two weeks after Cindy planted her toms in her garden in Oakley, Utah. It was great comparing our two gardens this summer and how the plants differed in the two different climates. Unfortunately my Brandywines didn't produce anything - Cindy's did. My Orange Toms did great, as well as the Oregons. But the best are the Green Zebras - they remain greenish yellow when fully ripe and are as sweet as Skittles! When I was a kid visiting my grandparents in the summer in California my grandma taught me how to eat her home-growns over the kitchen sink (to minimize the mess). Every time I eat one now I think of her.

In other news... I've had a rough time since the accident. My neck and back were pretty painful and caused four migraines but everything is slowly getting better now. I spent the weekend in Rapid City with Scott's family. Loretta hosted a huge "rummage sale" (that's a Midwest term for "yard sale" ). Sisters Karen, Dianne and Lisa were there as well and we had a great time. I was pretty much just in the way but they didn't complain :-) After the sale Loretta took us all out to dinner and then we went to Karen's house for coffee and Baileys. I haven't laughed that hard in so long! It was the first time that I got to hang with all the Malon women all at once - the Malon men were at the ranch for the weekend.

Scott's brother Craig came up from Denver and it was great to see him, also. Scott and I stayed at the cabin with him one night last week and I got to hang out in Rapid with a bunch. He took me to lunch at Bully's - a great little coffee house and we did a little window shopping downtown. He is having brain surgery on October 2nd to remove a tumor on his pituitary gland. It's way more complicated than mine was but he's got the best attitude about it and will be skiing again in no time! Scott and I are going to see him in Denver after his surgery on our way to the desert.

As soon as we figure out our fall trip schedule I'll let all the Utahans now the exact dates. We're hoping the car will be fixed in time!

What's next???

2007-09-11T16:35:00.000-07:00

Some of you may know that our car was hit in Utah during my recent trip. Well, I'm on a roll... THIS happened today. A really nice kid in overalls, an American flag t-shirt and a huge Ford pick-up slammed into me in Rapid City. We have a bumper sticker that says "01.20.08 - Bush's last day" - I wonder if he hit me on purpose!

Yesterday I went to my Doc to follow up on the 4 cortisone/lidocaine shots he pumped into my back and neck after I got back from Utah. "All better!", I told him. Now, after the accident it's worse than before.

I have to go take some aspirin...

Ancient Chinese Secret

2007-09-09T11:59:00.000-07:00

My blog is like my memory: scattered, out of order and missing huge chunks. An example, while Gus and I were in the Tetons I was suffering with tendonitis in my neck and shoulders causing migraines etc. Heather M recommended I see her acupuncturist who convinced me to not only stick lots of needles in my, but also to try "cupping" which is Ancient Chinese Secret and very painful. It's like getting lots of hickeys from an alien (the space kind, not the illegal kind). It didn't help but left crazy marks on my back. I'll try anything once!

Here it is...

2007-09-09T11:33:00.000-07:00

It's about time I created my own blog. Seems a little egotistical to me to presume other's will be interested in what is going on in my world but since I live in far, far away land (Custer, SD) and most of my family and friends are in other states this will be my way of connecting to those whom I love. Most of you know I rarely call or write. I'm not sure why but ever since the "stroke" writing and talking on the phone usually aggravates part of my brain and I get frustrated. But I'm going to try to commit to updating this blog regularly. Wish me luck!